· Intelligence could be instinct which has it at the wrong end
· When life hands you a lemon, break out the tequila and the salt!
· What is arrogance? Thinking you can compete with me!
· I’ve lost my phone number, can I have yours?
· Not me, not now, maybe later...
· Life's a beach... Surf it up!
· Trying is the first step towards failure
· I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
· If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
· Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but milk do?
· Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you stand alone
· I'm more drunk than a three-legged chicken on a wet patch of ice!
· When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better
· To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all life's problems
· WaNnA PLaY ArMy?" ... Ok! SiT BaCk AnD i'LL BLoW ThE HeLL OuT oF YoU!
· I avoid temptation unless I can't resist it
· I love work; it fascinates me; I can sit and watch it for hours
· Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you to forget the question
· Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
· There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

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